March 2012
25 posts
I've decided tonight...
…that I’m just going to go ahead and die an old maid. I only plan on living till 30 so that gives me AT MOST 7 more years of solitude. Let the fun begin!
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Fakebook, or The Reason We Don't Know Each Other...
With the initial intent of pissing off a few of my facebook “friends” and hoping to receive some sort of larger reaction beyond shock and surprise via comments on my status- I spent last week posting a very false (but believable) status update. Every. Day.
The reason I wanted to have a little fun (and ask my roommate GCourvo, I laughed out loud every time I posted a new status) was because of my...
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the phobia list →
a ablutophobia — washing, bathing, or cleaning acarophobia — itching or the insects that cause itching acerophobia — sourness or things that are sour achluophobia — darkness or the dark acousticophobia — noise or sound acrophobia — heights or high levels aeroacrophobia — open high places …
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The beginnings of the American Revolution,...
BRITISH EMPIRE: All right, fine, your stupid embargo worked. We won’t levy any more taxes-
AMERICAN COLONIES: Huzzah! Time to get drunk!
BRITISH EMPIRE: Except on tea.
AMERICAN COLONIES: What?
BRITISH EMPIRE: Get over it, it’s just tea. Seriously, where do you get this idea that you’re special and should never have to pay taxes? We hope that idea doesn’t go on to infect your political discourse centuries from now.
AMERICAN COLONIES: We’re not buying your stupid tea.
BRITISH EMPIRE: Are you being serious right now? What are you going to do, just stop drinking tea?
AMERICAN COLONIES: Yes. We’ll drink coffee.
BRITISH EMPIRE: Do you even know what that is?
AMERICAN COLONIES: No, but we’ve heard it’s good and we’re feeling surly.
BRITISH EMPIRE: Fine, whatever, we don’t even care what you do anymore.
BRITISH EAST INDIA COMPANY: Actually, we are pretty much bankrupt, so you need to make them drink the tea.
BRITISH EMPIRE: Oh, for—just drink the tea.
AMERICAN COLONIES: No.
BRITISH EMPIRE: Do it.
AMERICAN COLONIES: NO.
BRITISH EMPIRE: Drink it.
AMERICAN COLONIES: Fuck you.
BRITISH EMPIRE: Drink it or we’ll punch you in the face.
AMERICAN COLONIES: *Boston Tea Party*
BRITISH EMPIRE: What the hell?
AMERICAN COLONIES: We heard it was Indians.
BRITISH EMPIRE: That’s interesting, because we heard it was a bunch of colonists wearing paint and dressed in costumes that were remarkably similar to what a crowd of drunks who wanted to look like Indians would assemble if the only supplies they had were found in an alley behind a bar.
AMERICAN COLONIES: You get all types in Boston.
BRITISH EMPIRE: …*Coercive Acts*
AMERICAN COLONIES: Oh, it is ON.
and this is why we don't get doctor who on our televisions kids
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Family Photo DIY →
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Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are...
– Marianne Williamson
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